quick snap and the lure of icecream

 

gives me this new favourite!

enjoy j

giggles, grins, cuddles, kisses, tears, parties,

 

All in a day! First day of school holidays. I had a shoot this morning, Daz took the boys shopping for a birthday present for Caden’s party this afternoon, priced getting some shirts screen printed, had a rest, watched the footy, Went to the markets on the lake and had lots of grins and giggles and chuckles and kisses and cuteness from the boys. Things are slowly moving in a direction that I want to see for me. my meds are into the first day of being decreased and I am finally feeling like there is a tiny bit of improvement. It may be that I am accepting what is happening and dealing with it a bit rather than sinking low low low to never feeling like me again. the boys and we are soo excited that ther eis only one more sleep and they get sleep overs at G’mas & Papa’s. I am not 100% sure who is the most excited but Ty might be. All day it was “ I have to pack my favourite toys and a few books and my pillow. then thinks a bit then oh an mum you can pack my clothes” lol too cute.

here are a couple of happy snaps from the afternoon just after they woke up from their naps.

 

 

kisses for mama :P

the AFL grandfinal was on and while my initial thoughts was to have a nanna nap I ended up feeling the need to be creative. so I dragged out the hot glue gun and ribbons and clips and elastic and had some girly creative time while watching the footy with Daz.

enjoy J

today the sun shone a little bit

both outside the windows and inside me. I am feeling a bit better today. I realised that this is how I will be for a little while and while I hate how it feels on the inside it isn’t too obvious on the outside. I am a bit quieter, I am a bit less smiley and I know a lot more snuggly with my boys. They are wonderful. lots of cuddles and kisses and love you mama’s.

I picked up my camera again today and just snapped some of our everyday life. the eggs we eat for breaky

and my favourite egg flip that I still wish I grabbed another one on sale!

 

 

the tap dripping that I swear will drive me batty one of these days!

 

so yeah today was better. tomorrow will be better still. I see improvement and now that the initial pity party is on the way out. time to enjoy me, my hubby, my family,  my kids and the things I love. the 2 hour nanna nap I took with Ty helped too!

 

love you

j

Sometimes

 

life just becomes so hard. Things have been really hard this year, especially this winter. we have all been so sick and not just with sniffles and the like but full on hospitalisations and vomiting for 10days straight and straight into sinus infections. It never seems to end at the moment. I thought I had managed pretty well missing it all but I have been sick for about 6 weeks now and this weekend just finished me. My facial muscles are not working properly and it is devastating me. I feel like I am losing a part of myself. I am not me. I am getting treatment and it is curable, it is just going to take time. time I don’t want to have to wait. I don't really know which way to turn. I struggle to pick up my camera and shoot as I cannot close my eye. I feel wrong when I laugh with my boys, I know they love me and don't care what I look like but I do. Not that it really shows very obviously but to me it wrong.

I have no idea where to turn where to go to find this new me for the little while that I have to be the new me. Yes I am having a pity party. today it is harder as I know what is going on, I know what caused it and still there is so little that I can do.

I am loved. I am getting positives in other areas of my life. My boys are all becoming healthy again. Daz is looking fantastic. He has lost a lot of weight since his fight against the spots and dots and is so much better for it. The boys are still growing so fast and learning and watching and talking and laughing and loving life. They are really terrific little men.

Now just to find my happy place again and things will be good.

The saying goes that things that do not kill you make you stronger well bloody hell we are pretty strong then.

If it wasn’t the four of us being ill then it was our families as well including losing our father/father-in-law just a few short weeks ago.

Now as I look outside and the sun is finally shining, my babe is playing the wiggles and listening to playschool maybe I can feel a measure of peace and know that there is going to be great things ahead for us. We just have to get through this tough bit again and we shall be better for it.

Things like this really make you stop, think, re-evaluate what you are doing, what you need, and what is the most important thing in your life.

this is where I am at at the moment. What are the critical things that I/we need to be happy. Material possessions are not necessary. Sure they are nice. But honestly knowing that we can be together and that we love each other regardless of the situation we are put in is so much more important to me.

We will get there. do you think if I say it enough I can start to believe it?

On a little funny note  - my darling boy said mum check out the light lets take photos. so we did (and that was how I realised something was wrong) however he makes me laugh. I am going to give a visualisation not a image for you.

 

two words…..

 

booger boy.

 

he cracked himself and me up and refused to change the position. so yes I snapped it. I haven’t put it on the computer yet so you are going to have to wait to get confirmation of where your mind is going. and oh my yes he did!

 

love you

j

How I know my Babes love me…

 

 

I was sick in bed pretty much all weekend with a nasty sinus infection that will not go away. I am now on my 3rd course of antibiotics and it is a stubborn one. Anyhoo it was actually a really nice day and Ty was happy outside then all of a sudden I hear little steps and a “Mama?” I bought you some flowers to cheer you up and I put them in water to make them stay happy for you.” Oh I love love love my little man. Then he crawled up for big snuggles with me.

 

I think this pic tells more than a thousand words to me. it is a heart smile pic :) ♥

 

enjoy J

He loves to write

 

And read and draw. Just lately Caden has been writing little notes and making little books. I love to find them and tonight again was playing iwth my new flash and bouncing it off the wall. C was so patient with me but  I am so glad because I got to capture the little things again like him reading, and and writing and “Mama how to you spell Darth Vader?” Yes my boys have discovered Star Wars.

I am so in awe of my boy as to how amazing he is every day. There is something new that he can do and say and he is gaining such confidence in himself that he can do things that he couldn't before. He is sounding out words and telling me rhymes what words rhyme with others and the sounds of blends and combinations of letters. This is amazing for us to watch and hear and absorb that our boy is really growing into himself and learning oh so much.

 

I also snapped a couple of pics that just make my heart smile.

his smile that says MUM! 

his giggle that has us laughing

 

I love the way he covers up his giggle with his hand. It isnt so chubby any more but oh this was my favourite shot

And a couple of mummy and me shots.

love you my Caden so very much

♥♥♥

 

enjoy J

it is raining AGAIN

but oh the light was so pretty! I am teaching Tyler so well, he looks outside and “Mama look at the light it is so pretty” SO of course we grab the camera, we have to hide under the carport to not get wet but…

the light was so bright I gotta wear shades :P

 

enjoy j

Postcards

 

Cadens school production is on tonight. He is sooo excited as are we. He has been learning the Can Can for 2 terms now and tonight is the night. He has his costume and new black shoes. We are not able to take cameras or videos into the hall tonight but oh I wish I could. He is so confident and really coming into his own now it is wonderful.

And now when I beg just one more he gives me the best grins and poses and smiles and those blue eyes that I adore.

 

Walking out the door my little man says Mama the light is still lovely and I am in smart clothes come take my photo. Being me of course I cannot say no.

 

Love you my boys ♥

 

mama

pretty light and a chubby bubby

 

G was being pretty cooperative today. lol not hard considering she cant crawl away yet! But he light was so nice and the boys were playing outside and Daz was cleaning the car so I grabbed my 50mm and snapped off some shots!

 

Finally…

 

got around to printing some portraits of us and ready to hang on the walls. I have had them done up at 16x20 and now have 4 to put up!

 

enjoy j

today I …

 

Didnt do a great deal, played with my flash some more, tried to enlist the help of the feral but as you can see not so forthcoming with help lol

  but hey starting to slowly figure things out.

 

Oh and it was cold wet, did I mention cold? and my morning of peace and quiet was shattered by having to pick up Caden from school sick. So hence bored kids, bored mama = relief when Daddy got home lol

enjoy J