Australia Day 2012

we spent it fairly quietly but took the boys to the lake in the morning as it was going to be a hot hot day!

   

The boys love the new playground there and the net swirlies swing thing is a huge hit!

p52 : Joy

 

I confess I didnt put a lot of thought into my p52 challenge this week, but while taking my photo for B3’s album Daz makes me smile. He bring joy into my life. He always knows when I need a hug, or time out or just to smile. The feeling of B3 growing and kicking and moving in my belly is an awesome feeling – a touch uncomfortable at times with the HUGE stretches that happen but I love it all the same. I would have to say that Joy is life in all its forms.

 

learning to FLy again

This week has been hard. such a mental journey for me. I have struggled with everything from parenting , to who the heck am I, what the heck so I think I am doing taking photos of other people, why the heck do I even have a camera. There are so many factors that I know in my head are causing it. BUT at the end of the day I need to get into my head and clear it out. I have had a copy of The Fly Guide by Angie Warren for months. I started reading it when I first printed it out and clearly wasnt in a place to learn to fly yet. I watched this video by Zach Arias called Transform. In fact I have watched it a couple of times. At first it was just yeah ok, I’ve watched it, next step. But then I had to write my story. What the heck was I supposed to write? Where do I start? I struggle sometimes with so many balls being juggled in the air that I swear they all fall to the ground in rapid succession. I pick them up and start juggling again. So I watched it again. and I listened. And I listened to it again. Slowly it got me thinking. So I bought myself a new journal, – a pretty aqua one that appealed to me that is big enough to stick photos in. This is going to be my personal flight into finding me again. Which fits with my chosen word of Grow for the year. I will grow as a person, as a mum, as a photographer.

I am going to keep my journal entries off the blog, but I will let snippets through :)

Like tonight. I did a big purge into my newly cracked open journal.  - 3 pages of scrawly thoughts and me. I had jotted down some questions that appealed to me while watching transform – who am I as a photographer? What was my vision? what were my goals? This coincided this week with my who the heck am I moments.

As I pondered and wrote it all coalesced into serious thoughts and ideas and goals and a desire to take on my personal challenge of doing what I really really want to be doing. Am I there – heck no. Do I have a direction in which I can get help along my journey? absolutely. Do I know where I want to go. yes.

so I feel like there is a bit of some of that weight off my shoulders tonight. I am sure tomorrow it will be back there, but for now I know in which direction to face my fears and the determination to do it.

Back to Fly. Pick your fave ever 5 photos. How in the heck am I going to pick only 5 images I will admit I have only gone back to since I have my digital camera’s. the blurry, the heart tugging emotionally connected images that appeal to me. They make my heart sing. They are images that stay with me in my heart and my mind. Do they pop up every single day. nope a couple are recent images. but some are not. some are just me and him. BUT looking at them and unconsciously analysing them I see a truth and a clarity in what I wrote not an hour before and what I see in these images.

  ok I confess I picked six :)

this one appealed to my photography side :)

 

so I see a path, and I see why I have chosen the path I am to embark on. I see my vision and I see my goals and honestly I see my heart again. If this is a journey to find all of this and come out stronger and whole and happy and content then it is so worth it.

I have ordered some things that I have wanted for a while, things that will help me learn more about my craft, to help me get to a degree of satisfaction within myself to know that I can do this. I can work at anything and achieve my hearts desire.

 

27 weeks

P52 – Black and White

  I have to admit I did think a little bout what I ‘should’ shoot for this weeks topic. But inspiration eluded me as I have been immersing myself in colour and bright colours at that! I love black and white images. I love it when something as simple as the right light and the right spot gives me a fabulous conversion from bright colour of a sunset night to a B&W images that make my heart smile.  I chose these two images of my cuties because it shoes them as they are! I have more but I havent edited them yet, so maybe later with the share!
anyway here are my boys in their ‘me-ness’!

Mr T in all his cheekiness. I see this almost giggle all the time and it is so him!

Oh my big boy! you are all grins at the moment and growing up so fast! big muscles my boy! love you lots

26 weeks

 

I know I blogged about the first page the other day, but in B3’s album is a page of pondering and comparison :) I found the 20 week ultrasounds of all three of my kidlets and it is kinda cool!

Finally some belly pics! @26 weeks (just!! we click over to 27 tomorrow!)

Wondering What you are going to look like

you know B3 seeing you the other day has had me wondering what you are going to look like, are you going to look like your brothers or totally different? Am I going to get  third red head - although to ask Ty what colour hair he has "its orange". Am I going to get another blue eyed babe or maybe a 2nd brown eyed red - oops sorry orange head.
I suspect that thus far the lack of heart burn may mean not so much hair  - kinda like Caden who was practically bald till he was 1! whereas Ty gave me grief all the time whilst inside with lots of heart burn and has lots of thick hair!

Here is my Caden at 4 days old. That little sprinkling of hair was as red as it is today!

Here is my Tyler with all his orange hair at 4 days old! We laughed that he turned into an old man with red hair as bits rubbed off at the back by sleeping on his back.

when the Dr waved the u/s wand over the area where your head lay and you extended your head back as if to say what is pushing on me? I caught a resemblance to Caden, just a moment. But then while I see the boys as so different others don’t. they see them as similar. I wonder where you are going to fit into that little dynamic. Any which way you look, you will be you, with your own personality and I am sure that you are going to take on your big brothers in a way that they will not know what has hit them (or me for that matter :)
cant wait to meet you little one!

 

Grow…

 
I have been doing a lot of pondering and thinking and jotting notes and research and more pondering lately. January and the New Year always seems to bring out the strive to something more in me. This year there are so many changes afoot personally and professionally with our family. I clicked on to Ali Edwards blog where she had a couple of projects that she does yearly that intrigued me. One is the One Little Word project . This got me thinking (yes more thinking!) what word do I think would suit me to work towards this year? What can apply to all aspects of our lives? I decided on Grow. Grow’s definition is …

I have mulled over it for a week or so, and the more I go back to it I think it fits perfectly for 2012.

    There is the physical aspects of literally growing bigger – both myself with the birth of B3 rapidly coming closer, The boys as they continue on as they are constantly growing and changing and learning, Daz who has decided to try and get fitter and healthier this year.

   The mental aspects for all four of us – me with striving to find new directions with my photography, challenging myself to be better in areas that I feel needs improvement and practice.

                                                             - For Daz with the new direction work has taken and the new challenges he faces in learning his new job and undertaking a series of courses to get a good grasp of his chosen field.
                                                              - For Caden who is entering year 2 this year and continuing on his schooling journey. Also to see what sports or challenges he will pursue throughout 2012

                                                               -For Tyler who starts Kindergarten this year and opens up a whole new world that he is so ready for.

For me photographically I am still trying to decide what direction I want to grow in and develop further. The two that jump to the front of my mind is Light – learn to use it, how to manipulate it, how to love it.

Specialise – I want my business to go in a certain direction this year and am in the process of setting goals to achieve this. There is so much to learn and develop that I am going to take the time to really get it clear in my head. I love it. I love the shooting, editing, the printing and producing. And that helps so much. I  think that if I didn't love it then the drive to grow would not be there.

 

For me/us personally and as a family this year are so many changes coming. I often wonder how much this new little person is going to change our lives. I know the impact having a newborn can have but I love the fact that the four of us are so eagerly anticipating B3’s arrival. The boys are so excited and are really looking forward to being big brothers. I often have people say oh you need to get so much organised than you are now to deal with three children. I think that honestly our lives work and B3 is going to slip in really well.  Daz will be travelling a bit this year with work so there is a new challenge in itself – me and the kids! I hope that we have a much healthier year this year. The last couple of years have been so tough and honestly there feels like there is a change in the air for us.

SO as part of my choosing a word to live by / be inspired by / be challenged by/  this year I am going to attempt a project 52.  I started with all good intentions last year a project 365 but I hit a lull in June and then barely picked up my camera much at all from July to October (thank you so much morning/noon and night sickness). I figure if I can aim for once a week and relatively on theme from a list of weekly challenges then I am going to be happy.  Oh I am sure that there will be a series of smaller photographic projects that I will undertake  - like the 30 days of b3, and his/her monthly photos, the sewing projects I have set myself – creating the boys quilts each to give them by the time B3 arrives. B3’s quilt, burp cloths and various other projects that may or may not happen :)

Oh and blogging. I desperately got behind last year –I think biting of more than I could chew. So I am breaking into smaller pieces and goals I have a desk calendar this year and hope to be develop into better habits of recording things on it as it sits right under my nose.

Cleaning my house. I have slowly gone insane this year with the lack or room and immense amounts of clutter that have littered our home. It has been so easy to become complacent  and think “oh I will do it later” and then when you look up later that you realise that you have 5 baskets of washing sitting waiting to be folded or the dishes from last night’s dinner are still sitting in the sink waiting to be stacked in the dishwasher. So far – this first week of January I  have been trying to be vigilant about getting on top of the washing and the cleaning. so far. I feel a small measure of success. I have had a week of a clean kitchen and finally getting on top of the mountain and mountain of washing.

 

And because a post without a photo is useless I want to share one of my boy. He is growing up so fast before our very eyes. No long a little boy, but a 7 year old that is really developing in to a charismatic, cheerful, cheeky boy that loves life.

And one of my growing belly…

25 weeks